Thursday, November 24, 2016

dead is dead . . you know the rest

three weeks and a day ago at roughly this time i was awake, but unlike tonight hadn't gone to bed yet, i felt weird.  dizzy, spaced and i remember telling myself - you need to go to bed; you're really going to need to have rested for tomorrow.  i didn't have anything significant going on that day.  maybe it's folly to think now, in retrospect that i was telling myself something but then, i tried to dismiss myself back in august too but i knew. 

so i went to bed and around the time my head hit the pillow my father's head was bleeding out all over the basement floor.  i took a picture of that puddle of blood.  i don't know why.  he'd be slightly disturbed.  i wanted to touch it.  i'm a little sorry i didn't but then i'm fucking sorry about a lot of things so what's the difference?

i can't sleep and i went downstairs to nip a bit of thanksgiving leftovers and i think to myself i shouldn't eat now - the middle of the night.  and i hear my father, telling my mother, "leave her alone.  let her eat if she wants." and i'm a mess.

i've done well today - ignoring it.  pretending i'm not hurting.  which was really the defining feature of our relationship anyway.  me pretending i wasn't hurting.  but at least then it was broken up by moments.  moments that he looked at me and told me i was perfect.  moments that i had someone to talk to that understood me.

once again i'm painfully aware of just how alone i am.  it seems to be too much to ask for respite, to ask for someone that  . .. it's just too much to expect i guess and so i'm going to stop asking.

people want to tell me things to try and keep my channels open and i understand why.  i would likely give myself most of the same advice.  but there are a few facts.  fact one, i have shit to do and hollowing myself out is the only way i know to get it done.  fact two, some of the most balanced and least bothered people i know are like this- not coincidentally at least three of them have had not so much as a "how are you doing?"  and on the one hand, what the fuck but on the other, i know what it takes to try and be happy so if they can be happy then can i really blame them. 

because if i was the type of person who wasn't plagued by second guessing myself then perhaps my heart and mind wouldn't be torturing me to the point where i run scenarios of what i should have done differently and have arguments with him, and her too, that send me free falling into a spiral until i have to break my fall with

dead is dead. and gone is gone. and done is done and that is that.  dead is dead.  

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