i attach a lot of significance to numbers; mystical, metaphysical, of course pragmatic, and logistical. i won't argue with you about my beliefs so piss in the wind if you like.
we're 7 years and 8 days out from gideon's death. well, i suppose i am since i doubt you've been racking the tally. *smirk*
the pages of grief are a funny thing. his face is so far from me now that i can barely see it. when i hear that laugh get trapped under his enormous adam's apple it's faint and barely constricts my chest. but all the weavings within me; all the places where he should echo are still sharply void and untamed. bamboo left unwickered and waving like dried seaweed over the beach. the image soft and peaceful but the reality sharp, coarse and unsettling through to the soul.
despite the anniversary of his death i haven't been actively seeking him out, i don't think i have. then again the poster at work tells me our flu clinic is oct 6 and i think - oh, oct 6th that was the date he wrote that letter . .. . and so, the question becomes do i feel alone without you gideon or am i looking for you because i feel so alone.
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