since this trip is going to kill me and the seal is effectively broken now - a little more on the subject of boys from 20 years ago and 20yo boys. Unlike the high school one who I thought "maybe 4/5 years from now this could be a relationship thing" . . . the college one, I foolishly did think ya maybe I could do this. I mean I just wanted the sex but he wanted more and I thought well - I guess, maybe. ngl memories of phenomenal earth shattering sex may have clouded my judgment. But he was very nice about my dad so there's that. But then equally possibly? You telling me - "you need to try and be more open" and him gassignme up. Either way not worth it. The only one who has been uncomplicated? The 23 yo. Got exactly what I was looking for and wanted. So why am I resisting this 22 yo? The only reason I can come up with is the first one came with a built in shelf life and this one maybe not. And I admit to being a little uptight about having something ongoing with a boy half my age.
And of course there are far more important things for me to be focused on. My next step looms heavy. My next couple career wise. But as I keep trying to tell you - lack of sex makes my brain fuzzy. It sounds like a quip but it's a fact.
More later - in the interim let me just tell you these people are making me insane. More insane. More later if I don't end up on the news for killing them on myself.
https://youtu.be/wZngpLsUQos
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